We asked four women to share what they think couples should relinquish in order to gain peace of mind in a relationship. Here’s what they had to say

Busi (24)

‘Don’t take irritating habits to heart’

People have habits that you might find irritating. What actually happens is that you get so used to the person that you start disliking the habits and you really just need to let go of that. When things start to go wrong in a relationship, you look back on these habits and it becomes another reason for you to leave. If your partner is doing things that are odd and irritating, accept them as quirks.

Swati (28)

‘Stop looking through your partner’s phone’

Couples should let go of looking through each other’s phones. For example, if every time your partner is in the bathroom, you see that as an opportnunity go through her phone, then obviously there’s a problem in the relationship – usually relating to trust.

When you do this, you’ll often find things that can be potentially damaging to the relationship, but you have no context and might be getting it all wrong. Work on the trust issues in the relationship that are making you snoop around rather than losing your peace of mind.

Bongeka (26)

‘Stop doubting yourself’

One needs to let go of self-doubt in a relationship. This means having the confidence to speak your mind and do what’s right for yourself first. If you doubt yourself, you will stay in unhealthy situations, but if you’re confident, you’ll do what’s best for yourself.

Essentially, you have to know your value so that you know what you can tolerate, which will make for a healthier relationship overall.

Rea (29)

‘Manage your expectations’

Yes, you can have standards and goals, but you can’t hold the other person accountable for realising those things for you. You can’t say ‘I want a partner who’s XYZ’ and then hold the person you’re in a relationship accountable for falling short of the standards that you’ve set.

Manage your expectations in a relationship, otherwise you will never be completely happy.


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